Not Looking Back
by NeonZangetsu
Summary: A wise man once told me that when one looks back, they remember happier times. Better days. They say you should always look back. But when you've lived for centuries, what, is there to look back on? Chaos? Insanity? What else is there for you to see once you've watched the world BURN? Crossover with Mad Max: Fury Road and prequel in the Not Going Home Series. NarutoxAngharad.
1. Not Looking Back

**A/N: I return my subjects! For any wondering, YES I have seen the new Mad Max movie, Fury Road, and I bloody loved it! However, I wasn't too pleased with (SPOILERS AHEAD) How that poor girl, I believe her name was** **Angharad, was so cruelly killed off like that. I MEAN SHE WAS PREGNANT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!**

 **And when I saw that there were no Naruto crossovers with it and all the INSANITY that takes places throughout, well, the gears in my mind got to turning.** **As another note, this is a sort of prequel to the "Not Going Home" series as a whole, chronicling the adventures of our dimension hopping blond.**

 **Therefore, before reading this, I SERIOUSLY suggest you stop and read that, first.**

 **So, I've been going over reviews, and an anonymous reviewer said something that really resonated with me. I love to write. But sometimes, I feel that this gift owns me, rather than I, owning it. Its like a beast inside me, this urge to create, but I can't control it very well, which results in a LOT of new stories. So as of last night, and continuing throughout the week, I'm purging stories that won't be continued, or works that no one enjoys anymore.**

 **Let me know which ones you feel should be continued, before its too late! Don't worry, many of the major ones will remain, but anything from 2008-2009 is likely going out the window with all the rest of the trash, never to be seen again. This may seem sudden I know, but I'm only purging the forgotten fics that no one cares for. Fear not, its not going to be immediate, but it WILL happen, I simply wanted to get this out as a forewarning.**

 **This will be of very few new stories I plan to release, god willing. If I have an idea, I plan to make it a damn good one before I just toss it out there, as I devote myself to my other works, soon to number into the hundreds, and potentially dozens as I whittle them down. I need to reassess why I want to write, for the joy of it, and I can't do that by letting you guys down with old, crappy stories I wrote in my early days.**

 **LET THE NEW ERA BEGIN! Also yes, I'm introducing a new character here...**

 **...off we go! I proudly present Not Looking Back!**

 _"So...sand. Lots of sand. Cripes, why did I even come to this universe?"_

 _~?_

 **Madness**

 _They say God created man in his image._

 _If so, what does that make us?_

 _What does it make mankind, we who were meant to be created in the image of a deity? We, who do nothing but destroy and defile? Well, that's easy._

 _That makes us monsters._

 _Aberrations, abominations, amalgamations and many other incredibly unpleasant words that begin with the letter "A." Yes. Not pleasant._

 _Now now, don't get angry! I'm sure the big guy had some sort of plan when he created you people; all creators have plans for their children, after all._

 _But did we follow that plan? No._

 _Take me, for example._

 _With the help of my friends, wit, and a great deal of luck on my part, I not only hijacked the power of a GODDESS, devoured her soul and made it my own, but became immortal as well. Now I travel through the realms on an almost daily basis, popping in and out of different universes at will, causing havoc and playing pranks. If that was that Kami intended for me, well, god bless him! God bless his eternal soul!_

 _Ah, but I'm getting off topic here, aren't I. We were talking about the fallacy of mortals._

 _In the last seven dimensions I've visited I have seen humanity as a whole destroy itself, rebuild, only to be destroyed once again. I once saw them ruled by apes, even. I am no stranger to the apocalypse as a whole; I even accidentally started it a few times myself. But for the life of me, I just can't understand the logic here. If you're given a beautiful planet like the earth, a world rich and verdant in life, why? Why why why WHY for the love of me, would you intentionally destroy it?_

 _Rather, why must mankind always destroy itself? Why ruin your world, push your people down a road of madness and insanity, knowing it will only end in bloodhsed? Where you take your women and breed them as if they're cattle, as if they're not people, but sacks of flesh...gah, off topic again! I'll just get right down it, then._

 _My name is Uzumaki Naruto, but I'm sure you already know that. And this..._

 _...this is the story of a strange, dry, mad little world I once visited_

 _It was also, by far, one of the most amusing._

* * *

Sand swirled to life across fury road, bringing a god to life with it.

The arrival of this god did not come with a shout, nor did it end with a bang, but a sigh. One minute the wasteland was empty and devoid of any life, the next it simply...wasn't. There was no great thunderclap to herald his arrival, no storm of blood to blacken the skies, no flock of ravens to pick the bones of his enemies clean.

He merely "whispered" into existence.

A stray breeze picked up those stray grains and tossed them into the sky, and when they landed a hand was there to catch them, shading blue eyes against the harsh rays of the afternoon sun. Clad in resplendent black plate armor, he looked every bit the part of a knight, a traveler out of time., rather ironic, considered the world he'd just vacated.

He took one look at the endless stretch of nothingness before him and frowned, whiskered cheeks pinching in a scowl.

"Oh, great." were the first words out of his mouth. "Another wasteland. Sheesh, the Fallout universe was much, much, _much_ better than this...ugh, I don't even know what to call it." He glanced down, sniffing. "And this armor certainly isn't helping any. We're not in Thedas anymore, let's try something simple this time." A snap of the fingers banished this gaudy outfit altogether, replacing that menacing, gilded suit with a simple brown tunic and trousers.

"Ah. Much better."

 **Brrrmrble.**

His head turned at the distant crack of thunder.

Awe took him as he beheld the distant sandstorm, roiling brown clouds creeping out across the horizon. But this was no mere dustup, the A giant hand reaching down, scouring the land clean. There was a certain beauty in it, the sheer destruction rolling forward on the plains, obliterating all that stood in its path.

For the first time in his life, Uzumaki Naruto found himself awed by the forces of nature.

"So. Big storm. Yeah, this'll end well."

All that signified the newcomer's existence was a small indentation of his feet in the desert. He took one step out into this strange new world-

-and promptly found himself flattened as a dune buggy plowed into him in a roiling ball of fire.

 **THOOM!**

It was a very nice explosion Splat thought as he exited his vehcle, very bright, very chrome, very shiny. Poor bastard, he never stood a chance. What had he been doing though, just standing out there? Was he trying to die? To go to the gates of Valhalla? He supposed he'd never know, now.

"Glorious!" the cry leapt from his lips as surveyed the wreckage, his buggy left untended behind him. "So glorious!"

Shame about his mate, though, running into him like that. Scud had always been a little on the crazy side, running over people like that. He wouldn't be doing it anymore now. He still didn't understand why the car had blown up like that, but it was glorious to watch all the same. The War Boy stood there for a long moment, just drinking it all in. What a lovely day, indeed!

And then, to his great disbelief, the wreckage moved, bits of flaming metal clanging together as something stirred within.

The scout frowned, scurrying forward. Was Scud still alive?

 _"Uuuuurgh_ , did anyone get the number of that bus?"

Splat poked at the pile with his foot. It shifted again.

"Erm...are you okay?"

A muffled groan answered from the wreckage.

"Yup, I'm _fan-fucking-tastic_. Nothing but gumdrops and ice cream in here."

Splat paused considering those words. "That sounds nice. Is it something you eat?"

The debris shifted again, ever so slightly. Splat drew his pistol, frowning. The voice didn't sound like Scud, but curiosity overrode his baser judgement. What came next only made him all the more curious:

...I'm surrounded by idiots."

Splat's frown deepened. "I thought you were surrounded by the drops of gum and the cream of ice?

There was a silence as Splat's gun inched toward the still-smoldering pile, awaiting an answer. Then:

 **"AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"**

With a furious yowl an arm shot out of the wreckage, locked around his head and yanked.

 _Hard._

Not Scud! Not Scud at all!

The War Boy fired wildly, empty the clip into the face of his foe, to no avail. The vice on his head didn't release him.

Splat didn't even have time to squeal when the blond emerged in a shower of metal and flame, the strange man hauling him off his feet as though he weighed no more than a child. What he saw there nearly reduced his soul to a quivering wreck. Half of his face had been melted by the explosion, but even as he looked on the warped flesh molded itself back into smooth sun-kissed skin once more. Angry blue eyes glowered back at Splat with angry temerity, rimmed and bloodshot.

"Nice try." he said through a mouthful of lead, "If its any consolation, that hurt like hell." Those very bullet spattered to the ground with a soft clink of sound. "You should probably start praying, now. But first lets take a peek inside that skull of yours. Wouldn't hurt to know a little more about this place...

Splat could only sputter incoherently as those fingers clenched around his skull. He was looking at a burning man, his jack and hair still smoldering with smoke and flame. A demon god. His bones turned to jelly.

"W-W-Who...?

"Name's Naruto. Just your resident prankster. Don't mind me."

The pale human tried to speak, but all that emerged was a strangled gurgle.

His existence ceased to be as his mind was laid bare, but it was a two way street. In that agonizing moment he saw worlds untouched, great, verdant, green places. Life. So many pretty things, shiny things...

And then it was over.

"Immortal Joe." The burning deity paused, considering as he cradled the War Boy's skull in his hand. Contemplating. "Wonder if he's really immortal? Might be worth a...oh." The pause was longer this time, the silence more visceral as he drank the new memories in. Oh. Oh my. He saw it. Them. Saw it all.

And they were _praying._

Still new into his godhood as he was, there was one talent he'd taken particular time to cultivate. He always knew when someone was praying. Not to him of course, this being only the eighth realm he'd visited, but the realization that people in this world still believed in some higher power was starting. Enough to rouse him from his stupor.

"Here," he sighed, hurling the soul back into its vessel with a grunt. "You can have this back, kid. I'm not feeling too hungry, now. Looks like you got lucky."

Splat didn't understand why the god had bothered to spare him; only that he did. Breath-life-gusted back into his lungs, leaving him gasping.

His forehead kissed with arid ground with a dull thud, and groaned.

When next he looked, the burning man was gone.

* * *

Intangibility was a handy skill to have, Naruto thought.

Walls and their thickness meant nothing to you when you could simply phase through them; all one had to do was vibrate their molecules at a high frequency of speed. It wasn't something most mortals-or even shinobi, really-were capable of, but for a god? A being who had already lived for centuries, with complete mastery over his chakra?

 _Cake._

The ability to go about one's business wholly unseen and unfettered was almost a blessing; because Naruto was certain that, had any one tried to stop him, he would've slaughtered them on the spot. Although some did stop to wonder about the strange orange streaks of pain he slathered across the walls. Pranking the occasional passerby was just about the only way to keep a lid on the aggression, only five minutes here in "Immortal" Joe's home and he found he was ready to do exactly what he'd done to Silent Hill; nuke it to hell and not look back.

He didn't like the man.

Not one bit.

So angry was he that he actually broke his cardinal rule and acted before he'd completed his objective; flooding the lowlands below with water to quench the thirst of the starving masses. It proved an admirable enough distraction, pouring thousands of gallons of water into the valley and watching as Joe's men tried to keep them from it. Poor sods looked like they hadn't had a decent drink in weeks.

Something would have to be done about that.

What kind of ruler left his people to suffer like this? It would be so easy just to off the man and be done with it, but in this case cutting off the head of snake only meant another viler creature would sprout up in its place to rule. There was so much _taint_ here in the hearts of man that it made him ill. That corruption needed to be rooted out yes, but first and foremost, innocents must be protected. Then he'd have his fun.

"What a lovely day." he muttered to himself at the thought.

So, his anger firmly bottled up inside him, Uzumaki Naruto strode through the Citadel, passing painted men by-unseen-undetected. It was only when he finally reached his destination that he uncloaked. The vault was a large thing, oddly reminiscent of something he'd seen in a vault once. A flicker of senjutsu told him all he needed to know of the five individuals beyond-and that they weren't expecting him. One was still praying he saw with pang of surprise.

"Well, here goes nothing."

The integrity of the vault was sundered in an instant as he stepped through...

...into a different world.

All high arched ceilings and stone walls,

Four of the five girls had been preoccupied when he stepped into the vault, but the soft tap of his weathered boots against the ground alerted them to his presence.

"Yo!" He opened his mouth to reassure them. "Nice to...

-only to find himself assaulted with every object imaginable.

Almost immediately all manner of things started flying at him, empty goblets and glasses, books and plates, all striking him in the face. It didn't so much hurt as it did tickle, but his laughter only seemed to make things worse. Now pillows came flying in, great fluffy things smacking against his chest and legs as he struggled to shield himself.

"Gah, pillows!" he cried, shielding his face, laughing. "Attack of the pillows!"

Finally the assault ceased. With nothing left to throw, they huddled together, scared out of their wits by him, this heavily armored stranger. One or two of them glared defiantly in his direction. All they wore where white garments; Joe probably thought the pure colors befitted such beautiful creatures.

"You're not Furiosa!" one of them cried.

...I am not." Naruto found himself admitting. "Nope. Don't even know who that is."

"How did you get in here?!"

"I'm God, silly Capable. I go where I please. Or where I'm called."

"You know us?"

"Of course I know you." he pointed to each of them in turn, grinning. "I heard one of you praying. Capable, Cheedo, Dag ,Toast and, wait, wasn't there one more-OOMPH!"

 **THUD.**

Naruto blinked in surprise as a heavy book crashed down on his horned head with considerable might. All this achieved was the destruction of the hard novel; the thick cover and paper turned to tatters the moment they touched the dread points of his horns. He turned, shaking himself like a wet dog, and the ruined book flew free as he faced his would-be-assailant. Wide, bright blue eyes stared back at him from a heart-shaped face, an ethereal visage of beauty framed by light brown hair.

"Ah, there she is...

 _...Angharad."_

His words trailed off into sputtering as he laid eye on her. He'd only glimpsed her before, but up close, with his own eyes was another matter. She was a pretty thing, sure, but that wasn't what struck him, knocked him right off his game and reduced him to a muttering mess. Pregnant. Pregnant? Pregnant! _Pregnant?!_ The word-sight!-resonated in his mind. His marvelous plan crumbled to pieces in an instant. Rescuing a few frightened girls was one thing, but this...well, this was new.

"Are you here to help us?" she asked.

"Well, I was considering before you whacked me, but...

Her expression crumpled.

"Aw, don't make that face."

Naruto took one look at her and smiling, promptly made his decision. Pregnant or not, he felt he had a duty to these girls. He took her hand and kissed it.

 _"What a lovely day."_

And by the end of it, a world would burn.

 **A/N: WHAT A LOVELY DAY INDEED! Ah, sorry. Just couldn't help myself. What kind of hilarity can Naruto get up to here? Ohhhh, quite a bit. Don't believe me? BEHOLD THE PREVIEW.**

 **(Preview)**

 _Immortal Joe took a good, long, hard look at the sundered vault and fought the urge to kill something._

 _Easier said than done, that._

 _Gone. HIS PROPERTY WAS GONE!_

 _A muscle jumped in his jaw, twitching now behind the mask that supplied oxygen to his ravaged lungs. Anger and shock warred somewhere int he back of his mind as he beheld the scope of the damage, pysche trying, and failing to find a foothold in this insanity. It looked like a massive beast had simply grabbed the solid steel door and ripped it off its hinges, exposing the rooms within. Joe wasn't entirely sure what he was looking at, only that someone was having a good laugh at his expenxe._

 _Worse still, was the color._

 _As though an angry god had taken a giant paintbrush to every corner of his precious Citadel, the bright, neon color glared back at him._

 _Everything._

 _Had._

 _Been._

 _Painted._

 _Orange._

 _And there on the floor, written in merry writing:_

 ** _"HOPE YOU LIKE THE NEW PAINT JOB! FURIOSA SAYS FUCK YOU!"_**

 _Your resident deity,_

 _~Uzumaki Naruto._

 **AND THE INSANITY BEGINS! So, in the Immortal Words of Atlas, Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **R &R~! =D**


	2. Fury Road

**A/N: I return my subjects! For any wondering, YES I have seen the new Mad Max movie, Fury Road soooo many times now, and I bloody loved it! However, I wasn't too pleased with (SPOILERS AHEAD) How that poor girl, I believe her name was Angharad, was so cruelly killed off like that. I MEAN SHE WAS PREGNANT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!**

 **And when I saw that there were no Naruto crossovers with it and all the INSANITY that takes places throughout, well, the gears in my mind got to turning.** **As another note, this is a sort of prequel to the "Not Going Home" series as a whole, chronicling the adventures of our dimension hopping blond.**

 **Therefore, before reading this, I SERIOUSLY suggest you stop and read that, first.**

 **So, I've been going over reviews, and an anonymous reviewer said something that really resonated with me. I love to write. But sometimes, I feel that this gift owns me, rather than I, owning it. Its like a beast inside me, this urge to create, but I can't control it very well, which results in a LOT of new stories. So as of last night, and continuing throughout the week, I'm purging stories that won't be continued, or works that no one enjoys anymore.**

 **Let me know which ones you feel should be continued, before its too late! Don't worry, many of the major ones will remain, but anything from 2008-2009 is likely going out the window with all the rest of the trash, never to be seen again. This may seem sudden I know, but I'm only purging the forgotten fics that no one cares for. Fear not, its not going to be immediate, but it WILL happen, I simply wanted to get this out as a forewarning.**

 **This will be of very few new stories I plan to release, god willing. If I have an idea, I plan to make it a damn good one before I just toss it out there, as I devote myself to my other works, soon to number into the hundreds, and potentially dozens as I whittle them down. I need to reassess why I want to write, for the joy of it, and I can't do that by letting you guys down with old, crappy stories I wrote in my early days.**

 **LET THE NEW ERA BEGIN! Also yes, I've since noticed that term "Immortal" and "Immortan" Joe are often both used. Now...**

 **...off we go! I proudly present the next chapter of Not Looking Back!**

 _"ALL HAIL THE DEMON GOD~!"_

 _...great. I've started another cult."_

 _~Splat and Naruto._

 **Fury Road**

 _I wonder what they'll call me once I've finished here._

 _God?_

 _Demon?_

 _Hero?_

 _Or perhaps a madman?_

 _...hey, don't look at me like that!_

 _You destroy a few dozen worlds by accident, devour a couple of souls, steal priceless weapons and artifacts, turn the universes on their head and, then suddenly you're the bad guy! Maybe that's why I'm helping these girls. Stop it! I said stop looking at me like that! I'm not a softie! Just because I have a weakness for all things cute and adorable, that doesn't make me...me..._

 _Ah, fuck it._

 _I really am a softie._

* * *

Immortan Joe took a good, long, hard look at the sundered vault and fought the urge to kill something.

Easier said than done, that.

Because it was gone.

 _Gone._

HIS PROPERTY WAS GONE!

A muscle jumped in his jaw, twitching now behind the mask that supplied oxygen to his ravaged lungs. Anger and shock warred somewhere in the back of his mind as he beheld the scope of the damage, pysche trying, and failing to find a foothold in this insanity. It looked like a massive beast had simply grabbed the solid steel door and ripped it off its hinges, exposing the rooms within. Joe wasn't entirely sure what he was looking at, only that someone was having a good laugh at his expenxe.

Worse still, was the color.

As though an angry god had taken a giant paintbrush to every corner of his precious Citadel, the bright, neon color glared back at him.

Everything.

Had.

Been.

Painted.

Orange.

And there on the floor, written in merry writing:

 ** _"HOPE YOU LIKE THE NEW PAINT JOB! FURIOSA SAYS FUCK YOU!"_**

 _Your resident deity,_

 _~Uzumaki Naruto._

There was an awful, terrible silence as the warlord of the wastes processed what was happening. His property gone. Furiosa on a supply run. This message, mocking him, thus! Somewhere in the back of his brain, the wires crossed. His body was already moving before his mind truly realized what was happening, long strides carrying him back to the control room. Ignoring all else, he shoved one of his "sons" aside, and pressed an eye to his telescope.

The sight that greeted him was not a pleasant one.

 _There._

In the distance he beheld the war rig and, sure enough, it wasn't headed for the bullet farm. Her unknowing escort was getting itself slaughtered by someone; a devilish looking man in dusty leathers, wielding some sort of windy blade, a weapon wielded with such skill that he shattered entire vehicles just by _swinging_ at them. Whoever the rogue was, he was proving himself damnably hard to kill.

And then bastard, that insufferable little _bastard_ , as though sensing his gaze, turned and flipped him a one-fingered salute. Somehow, he even heard him.

 _"Come and get me, ya cheeky dickwaffle!"_

Purpling in his fury, Immortan stormed away, roaring:

"READY MY RIG!"

* * *

 _"Bitch, you are salsa~!"_

Cackling like a mad demon god from hell, the wayward wanderer brought his blade down, butchering another marauder as he tried -and subsequently failed!- to crawl onto the rig. Chalky flesh split easily against steel, bone and marrow flopping wetly away as his corpse tumbled into the wastes. Another rose to challenge him and another _fell_ , sent screaming into the dirt below. An explosive spear arced past his head, was caught, and deftly returned to its sender a moment later.

"Chop, chop, chop," Naruto hummed softly to himself, eviscerating another hapless enemy, "Everything gets chopped~!"

All the while the rig bucked and swayed beneath his feet; a not-so-subtle reminder that he needed to be careful, to watch his footing; the ground would not be kind to him if he fell off the tanker. Not at this speed. Still, that tiny fear couldn't possibly hope to eclipse the sheer _euphoria_ he felt as they raced down fury road. It'd been ages since he'd gotten himself involved in a good chase-even longer before he had a chance to obliterate so many enemies at once.

This was what he wanted, what he needed.

It was indeed, as a certain War Boy would say, a lovely day.

"I fucking love this sword!" he crowed aloud, holding up the weapon for the heavens to witness. "Best godamn thing I ever stole!" Grinning, he poked his head down into the cabin and rapped once on the door. "Did you see that, girls? Nice work, eh-OW!"

His grin turned into a frown as the butt of a shotgun swatted him on the head. Glowering bloody red daggers at the one responsible for the now scarlet welt swelling upon his forehead, the blond blatantly contemplated just tossing her out of the rig in recompense for her temerity.

"What was that for, ya know?!

Furiosa merely grunted and handed him the weapon, stock first.

"Less bragging, more guarding."

"I don't need that." he snapped, waving it away. "But you saw it, right?" his expression was that of a kicked puppy as he turned to the wives, veritably pleading with the rest.

"Of course we saw." Angharad sighed and reached over to him-pushing a hand through his messy hair-stroking his horns. The God purred like a contented fox, she thought. He really wasn't so bad once you got to know him-no matter what the others might say for his mercurial temper and whimsical sense of humor.

"We _felt_ it." she reassured him soothingly.

"Oh," he blinked, grinning. "Good. You comfortable, in there?"

"I'm fine, don't worry."

"And the baby?" he quested.

At the very moment, her child decided to kick. Naruto noticed. Awed, he laid a hand on her belly. When the boy kicked again, his expression morphed into one of sheer wonder.

"Hey, little guy...

Despite her best efforts, Angharad felt herself flush.

She and the remaining wives were crammed into the backseat, catching a good moment of air while they could between pursuers. They all knew it was only a matter of time now before Immortan Joe realized what they were attempting, before the chase began, before they caught-no, she musn't think like that. That way lay madness. They could only focus on the here and now, only pray that the escape and not go mad.

Speaking of madness...

"It is too a real sword!" Naruto's annoyed bark echoed through the cabin.

"Just by swinging your hands around?" Toast scoffed back, challenging. "Some swordsman you are."

"Try looking a little closer." he challenged.

No, now that she looked, she could see... _something_ there. As if he were holding the wind itself in his hand, formed into a blade. And it was dripping red. Somehow, the thought made her ill. He was certainly capable of defending himself, but in the same vein, she was beginning to realize he was...well, not truly sane. He seemed to genuinely _enjoy_ the act of killing.

"Wanna see something even better?"

All that got him was a frown.

"I get the feeling I don't have much of a say...

The blond merely waggled his eyebrows and clamored back onto the roof. In the distance, his eyes locked upon a rising plume of dust. More pursuers.

 _Perfect._

"Now lets see, how did Saber do it...aha! Right!" Coughing, he raised the blade over his head, summoning the golden sword into reality. Flame licked at its edges, growing brighter and brighter with each passing second of existence, tendrils of power thrumming from his arms and into the legendary blade. "EXXXXX...!" That harsh, sweltering light of the desert sun danced madly off the beautiful blade for a moment longer, building with his shout, his fists around its weathered hilt.

Then he brought it crashing down.

 _Hard._

...CALIBUUUUUUUUUR!"

 **THOOM.**

* * *

Max felt the explosion as a distant tremor, rattling at the bars of his sanity.

"Blood bag...crazy juice...

In his mind's eye, he remained dimly aware of it all; of being taken out of the cage, lowered to the ground. Somewhere in the distance, he thought he heard someone-something?-speaking. Dimly, he could hear them-a young voice, a boy's voice as though spoken from another place, another realm, another world...

 _Nux._

"If I'm going to die, I'll die historic on the Fury Road!"

That was all he heard before the blackness took him again.

* * *

Immortan Joe saw the light like a falling star to earth.

Distant and dangerous, beautiful in its glory.

Wonderous to behold, but mysterious in the same. As though an angel itself had come unto them, to bless them in all its glory. Wait. The light was growing larger now, swelling at the edges of his vision. And was it just him, or was that great light growing close-

Oh.

That was his last thought before a wave of searing raced past him and his craft...

...slamming into his glorious citadel.

A blood vessel burst in his eye.

"BOY!"

* * *

Splat saw the explosion from on high and much, much closer.

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes of a dying deity, the pillar of golden flame burst into existence before him; a rioting stream of breathtaking radiance overtaking his senses and nearly sending the War Boy careening into a dune for his inattention. A booted foot slammed down on the brakes, jerking his craft to an unwieldy halt. Fierce winds assailed him, threatening to rip the wheels free and send him careening across the wastes if he didn't stop.

His buggy, still en route to the citadel after his close encounter, skidded to a shuddering halt. He clamored out, scrabbled for his goggles, heedless of the storm picking up. He barely noticed. The light cast him in golden relief, obliterating his shadow like the wraith of a forgotten yesterday, casting it to the winds.

Even then, the light nearly caused his eyes to shrivel dead away.

It was, in that moment as he stared up into the great, golden pillar of light, that the humble Splat had an epiphany. This, came from the same man from before-no, a man didn't reach into your chest, rip out your soul, and put it back again. Men didn't do that; because a man couldn't do that. A god did that. He granted life, and took it away. Lived, died, lived again. But he wasn't Immortan Joe. He was...more. Splat frowned. Was he really a god, then? Something to think about.

Something to ponder, certainly.

But the longer he thought about it, the longer he looked into the now fading light, the more certain he became.

All hail the Demon God.

"Glorious," he whispered, getting back into his car. The engine thrummed, almost drowning out his cry of victory. His destination was simple; he drove straight for the rising plume of dust and sand that was the great and powerful demon god. Grinning, he gunned the throttle.

What a lovely day.

* * *

"WHAT A LOVELY DAY!"

"Did you see that?! Ain't it glorious?! That shit's better than a death ball any day! HAHAHAHA!" Naruto's loud whoop put paid to Furiosa's expression Angharad thought; his wild laughter sounded like the death cry of an insane god, wild and fierce. She tried to remind herself that he was on her side, but the blazing citadel at their backs told another story, one of a madman. So did the gentle soul who'd touched her stomach and felt her child kick in awe.

They were, each of them, one and the same.

Whistling softly, the blond swung himself back into the cockpit, grinning brightly.

"Still doubt my skills?"

Toast shook her head fervently. And still she wondered.

Whose side was he really on?

"More, incoming!" Furious barked. "Make yourself useful, fool!"

"Che, bastards don't give up. And the name is Naruto! NA! RU! TO!"

"I refuse to call you the great and powerful Naruto-sama of ramen! NOW get your ass up there!"

Like a drunken spider the blond skittered back outside, clamoring up the rig and onto the deck once more. The sight that greeted him was not of the spiked cars from before but one, two, _three_ convoys, closing in on his position. A dusty blond brow was arched.

"Oh. That's...that's quite a few of 'em. Oi!" His boot stomped down on the hull, demanding attention. "Stop the rig!"

 _"What?"_ came the incredulous growl.

"Just listen to me, woman! That, or I'm jumpin' myself!"

Incredibly, she obeyed.

"Relax, I know what I'm doing."

Furiosa dared a moment to look back, squinting against the fading light. In the mirror she watched as the blond slowly raised both his hands, sweeping them across his chest in low, broad motions. A foot stomped down, accidentally denting the tanker and then, the impossible happened. Grains of sand rose from the dirt around them, the very desert responding to his will.

For a moment, she thought it was another dust storm, but no...this was different.

Instead of swirling in a funnel they simply continued to rise, swirling around the blond; his arms raised to the skies; a prophet beseeching the fallen. Grains of sand swayed with him and-

Thump!

An exploding spear blew half his chest away.

"Go, go, go!" He roared! "They're close enough, now!"

Shuddering to life beneath him, the rig lurched ponderosly into motion, desperately trying to outpace her pursuers. It didn't matter. With a light step, he stepped off the rig. Furiosa saw him too late.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

The blond simply lowered his hands again and laughed. "Taking a page from my best friend's playbook."

Fingers clenched into a claw, he locked eyes on the nearest vehicle.

"Now, let's play a little game."

Pressure is a funny thing.

With the right amount of force behind it, one can crush just about, well, anything, really.

Take sand for example.

If it suddenly and violently contracted at say, light-speed, around a moving object, what would happen? When one applies the forces of hardened sand and gravity against an oncoming vehicle? Why, the result should be obvious; most obvious indeed. They say pressure is a funny thing, and for Uzumaki Naruto, it certainly was. It was a glorious, lovely, wonderful thing.

But for Immortan Joe and his men?

...not so much.

"Sand. Coffin."

 _Whump._

A dull thud greeted the world; then the nearest vehicle was suddenly and violent reduced to little more than a ball of scrap; its occupants crushed in an instant. Naruto's gaze snapped to the next chaser-a rolling tanker, and a heartbeat later, the vehicle found itself an almighty wreck as the dunes themselves crashed down around it. Cackling he brought the sand to bear again and again, _and again_ weaving his hands in the complex and deadly motions once used by a legendary ninja before him.

"Coffin."

 _Crunch_.

"Coffin."

 _Crunch._

 **"COFFIN~!"**

Each wort brought with it the death of another War Boy and his vehicle-all save a rather peculiar buggy with a man strapped to its hood-but for every one he slew three more raced in out of the desert to take its place-a veritable slew of enemies throwing themselves at him for death and glory. In the end, it didn't matter. Bounding back to the rig where his charges lay, Naruto raised his hands one last time, calling upon every single one of the deserts grains, every molecule, every granule, every...everything.

"I love this game! Now...

Great walls of sand arose as the desert itself responded to his mental summons.

...TIME FOR THE FINALE! HOLD YOUR BREATH, LADIES!"

That was all Angharad and the others heard before the world swallowed them up in a sea of sand.

 **A/N: WHAT A LOVELY DAY INDEED! Ah, sorry. Just couldn't help myself. What kind of hilarity can Naruto get up to here? Ohhhh, quite a bit. Don't believe me? BEHOLD THE PREVIEW. THAR BE TWO THIS TIME!**

 _ **(Preview(S)**_

 _"Not gonna like, you're totally hot right now-blech!"_

 _Naruto found himself blasted with a faceful of water from the rig's hose for his efforts._

 _"Your carriage awaits, m'lady. Erm," he hastily amended at Capable's arched brow, "Ladies. Totally meant to say that-oh boy."_

 _"Go, go, go, go!"_

 _A pair of nineteen-fifty-nine Cadillac coup Deville mounted atop one another, barreled towards him. He had just enough time to hear Immortan Joe's deep-throated laugh, just enough time to raise shove Angharad out of harms way-_

 _"You better not hit me with that fucking truck!"_

 _They did, in fact, hit him with that truck._

 _For the second time that day, Naruto found himself flung into the dunes. The difference being that this time, he managed to brace himself in time. Blasted onto his back, the blond stood up, glowering. A hand darted to his belt, extracting a thin, metal cylinder._

 _"SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET CUT!"_

 _The buzz of a lightsaber filled the air._

* * *

 _Naruto sighed._

 _"Call me asshole. One more time. You do that, and, your head," he turned, indicating the Bullet Farmer, "Is going up his ass."  
_

 _"Asshole."_

 _There was an awful silence as blue eyes turned black._

 _"PREPARE YOUR ANUS!"_

 **AND THE INSANITY CONTINUES! So, in the Immortal Words of Atlas, Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **R &R~! =D**


	3. Sand in All the Places

**A/N: I return my subjects! For any wondering, YES I have seen the new Mad Max movie, Fury Road soooo many times now, and I bloody loved it! However, I wasn't too pleased with (SPOILERS AHEAD) How that poor girl, I believe her name was Angharad, was so cruelly killed off like that. I MEAN SHE WAS PREGNANT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!**

 **And when I saw that there were no Naruto crossovers with it and all the INSANITY that takes places throughout, well, the gears in my mind got to turning.** **As another note, this is a sort of prequel to the "Not Going Home" series as a whole, chronicling the adventures of our dimension hopping blond.**

 **Therefore, before reading this, I SERIOUSLY suggest you stop and read that, first.**

 **So, I've been going over reviews, and an anonymous reviewer said something that really resonated with me. I love to write. But sometimes, I feel that this gift owns me, rather than I, owning it. Its like a beast inside me, this urge to create, but I can't control it very well, which results in a LOT of new stories. So as of last night, and continuing throughout the week, I'm purging stories that won't be continued, or works that no one enjoys anymore.**

 **Let me know which ones you feel should be continued, before its too late! Don't worry, many of the major ones will remain, but anything from 2008-2009 is likely going out the window with all the rest of the trash, never to be seen again. This may seem sudden I know, but I'm only purging the forgotten fics that no one cares for. Fear not, its not going to be immediate, but it WILL happen, I simply wanted to get this out as a forewarning.**

 **This will be of very few new stories I plan to release, god willing. If I have an idea, I plan to make it a damn good one before I just toss it out there, as I devote myself to my other works, soon to number into the hundreds, and potentially dozens as I whittle them down. I need to reassess why I want to write, for the joy of it, and I can't do that by letting you guys down with old, crappy stories I wrote in my early days.**

 **LET THE NEW ERA BEGIN! Also yes, I've since noticed that term "Immortal" and "Immortan" Joe are often both used. Now...**

 **...off we go! I proudly present the next chapter of Not Looking Back! 'Tis silly and crackish as can be!**

 _"Sand, sand, everywhere, and not a drop to drink!"_

 _"Stop that! I need time to think!"_

 _...you just rhymed! Ha!"_

 _~Splat and Naruto._

 **Sand in All the Places**

 _Ah, the good ol' Sand Coffin!_

 _You know, I haven't had a chance to use that trick since I duked it out with Darkseid! See, now there was a god who made me work for a win. Not this "Immortan Joe" schmuck. From what I've seen thus far, there's no part of him that's immortal. He can bleed, he can be broken, just like any other man. One sandstorm and it already looks like he's down and out for the count! Not like the DC universe or better yet, Injustice...now THAT was a playground!_

 _Ah...DC!_

 _Good times for me, good times! Maybe I should visit the DC universe again someday. See what the Lanterns are up to. Steal a few more power rings, paint a few buildings, rev up a a Harley or two, start MY OWN prank war, pester that good ol' "horny bastard" version of myself and his sorceress...although, after that whole zombie bit, they might not be so happy to see me..._

 _...erm...did I say that out loud? Damnit._

 _Just ignore that last part._

 _Which brings us back to the guns and girls..._

 _...and the currently rising welt on my head..._

* * *

"I'm the best around~! Ain't nothing gonna keep me doowwwwwwwwwwwwwn~!"

 _ **CLUNK.**_

A metal pipe descended mercilessly on an unprotected skull, braining the blond right between his horns and sending him sprawling off the roof of the tanker. Whooping like a wild ape, he crashed to the ground, uncaring for the massive dent in his frontal lobe. Furiosa _thwacked_ him once more, then twice followed by _thrice_ , for good measure, and when _that_ didn't work, her dirty face finally purpled in rage. Helpless, she could only watch as his snickering visage stitched itself back together.

He hadn't been lying, after all. The smug... _bastard_ really was immortal.

"Why...WHY are you laughing like that, you jackass?!"

Naruto looked upward at her, grinned, and giggled.

 _"Because it's fucking hilarious, that's why!"_

Needlessly to say, the ladies were livid.

"YOU! ARE! ABSOLUTELY! INSANE!"

 _"You are correct, m'lady!"_

"Laughing isn't helping!"

 _"Don't I know it!"_

Naruto physically convulsed on the ground, shaking in an effort to contain his laughter, and failing miserably. Capable, Cheedo, Dag ,Toast, and Furiosa looked like they were all of a heartbeat from strangling him; well within their rights after what he'd just done. Everyone and everything was singularly soaked in sand, grains in all the wrong places, dirtied from head to toe, _and lost in the middle of nowhere._ And yet, for some reason, the blond simply couldn't get himself to stop laughing like a loon.

"Its just the sand...and the storm...ha!" the god swore, clapping a hand to his face in a vain attempt to swat at the mirthful tears there. "You've should've seen the look on Joe's face when it picked up his rig and tossed 'im! I know I did! HA! Isn't that right, Splat?" Craning his neck toward the undercarriage of the rig, where a small shadow could be seen picking away at the grit near the wheels, under the watchful eye a creature that'd look like it came from her worst nightmares.

"He doin' his job, Killa?" Naruto called. "Tell him to come out, for a sec."

The hulking xenomorph offered a restless hiss and clicked its jaws into the shadows, eliciting a sharp yelp.

A white skull poked out of the underbelly moments later.

"Sand, sand, everywhere, and not a drop to drink!" Splat chimed, wiping his sweat-laden brow. Killa snapped at him, and the War Boy yelped, retreating from the coiled beast. "Stop that!" he protested. "I need time to think!"

Naruto chuckled. "Not a bad rhyme. Although...

His eyes slid southward, catching the boy gawping at the bathing girls.

Naruto coughed harshly.

 _"Splat."_

Beneath his pain, the boy went pale.

 _"ALL HAIL THE DEMON GOD! MORE BROTH FOR HIS BOWL~!"_

"AMEN!" Naruto saluted crisply. "That's more like it!"

"Amen!"

With that, he ducked back under the rig, happy to continue his task.

Furiosa's eyes cut back to their "captive", one of the war boys the blond had snagged up out of the dunes. Or so he claimed. She didn't want to know what Naruto saw in the young man. He seemed just as crazy as the rest if not moreso. This worship bit was another matter...

"Good kid." Naruto watched him go, shaking his head, a wry frown marring his whiskered face. "One problem, though."

"And that is?"

...I think I may have started another cult."

"You say that like it's an everyday thing."

Naruto couldn't help himself, he guffawed. It was a short, simple bark of laughter, ending even as Furiosa saw the mirth in his eyes. They snapped shut shortly thereafter, almost as if he didn't want her to see. At length he sighed, uncrossing his legs in the dirt, and sat up.

"The Order of Ramen, Sacred Saints of the Log, Hounds of the Horn, to name a few...and now this." His hand waved restlessly, counting off on a hand. "They seem to pop up everywhere I go these days. Should've seen what happened when I went to the Sekirei universe. Now THAT was a trip...

...you've lost me, I hope you know that."

A blue eye creaked open.

"Look, if you're still pissed about the storm...yeah, that was my bad. Whaddya want, an apology?"

Her eyes sparked with the flames of anger. _"Yes."_

Naruto sighed and leaned back, ignoring the heat.

"Then I'm sorry, love." the words were flat, almost annoyed. "I was _trying_ to help. I still don't have a very good handle on my abilities, yet. Think of it as a paper mache flamethrower. It has the fuel, it has the power ya need, but once you let that power loose, it doesn't always move the way you want it to. Sometimes it does." he shifted slightly, placing both hands behind his head. "Other times it burns ya up."

"Which is why you slaughtered them."

This time, both eyes opened.

"Who?"

"Someone else was here." she challenged. "Before we woke up. Who?"

"I have no idea what you're...

Her eyes flicked away, following his back to a pair of still-boiling bloodstains a ways out. Stains that belonged to neither of them, stains that had once belonged to bodies. When the blond said nothing, Furiosa made as if to raise the pipe again; to which he simply snickered and held out his hands.

"I think we've established that doesn't work on me. Fine, I'll tell ya, but there ain't much to tell. Yeah, guys came lookin' for ya, and YEAH, I killed 'em."

"And took their stuff."

His horned head bobbed happily, patting his new bandolier.

"Aye, and took their stuff...

 _(Flashback)_

 _"WHAT! A! RUSH!"_

 _Naruto was laughing._

 _"Girls, you still alive? Oi? Girls~?"_

 _He was laughing, cackling, and STILL choking on sand when the rig finally shuddered to a halt, dropped by the incredible wind he'd created. He did a little jig atop the roof, whistling as it continued to rage on. What a storm! He hadn't created one like that in ages! It felt good to cut loose again and let the power flow through him; it was as near as he could come to enjoying himself with no foe to face. He was in such a state that he nearly forgot about his passengers; the slightest groan from the cabin below reminded him of his "guests" and their condition._

 _"Shit."_

 _Clamoring off the cab he frantically flowed into the cabin and began checking their pulses. Thankfully they were still alive, merely rattled around into unconsciousness by the rough landing. A quick check of Angharad did wonders; her pulse remained strong and steady, the stubborn kicking in her belly hadn't relented in the least. Outside, he was dimly aware of the death of his creation, the sands falling slack against the hull of the rig. A relieved sigh snaked through his teeth._

 _"Well," he hummed, "Looks like we're in the clear-_

 _That was when he heard it._

 _THUD._

 _"Ah, balls."_

 _Another, dull thud resounded._

 _A warning, suggesting the wind had dropped off more than he'd intended in the storm.. Then another, against the roof. Quietly cursing himself for failing to notice, he shot a glance outside the hatch. A dark, blotch of a shape blocked his vision. Nothing there that he could see. Thus perturbed, he hardened his skin and bounded up to the roof._

 _Sure enough, he climbed out and found a rifle thrust in his face._

 _"Hold it right there!"_

 _The Bullet Farmer's misshapen visage leered down at him, red and angry behind the goggles. Shading him from the sun, he counted at least two more men behind him, each in varying states of readiness. And there, no more than a few yards behind them, a strange sort of crawler that looked as though it had seen better days. Ah. That explained things._

 _"I would, but I'm sure these lovely ladies would disagree." he began, raising his hands. "Could I ask you chaps to put down the guns? Please? Lets not make things messier than they have to be."_

 _The man growled, thrusting the muzzle of his weapon under the whiskered warrior's chin._ _"They're not yours, asshole!"_

 _Naruto twitched._

 _"Now, see, that's not very nice." His head cocked aside, considering. "Have I called you asshole? I have not."_

 _"Shut up, ya asshole!"_

 _The deity sighed, exhaling through his nose._

 _"Go ahead, bub. Call me asshole. One more time." He leaned forward and up out of the hatch, fangs flashing venemously in the searing heat. "You do that, and, your head," he turned, indicating the nearest grunt to the Farmer, "Is going up his ass."_

 _All he received was a leer._

 _"Asshole."_

 _There was an awful silence as blue eyes turned black._

 _"PREPARE YOUR ANUS!"_

 _(End Flashback)_

* * *

"Ohhhhhhh, that." Naruto found himself bobbing his head in agreement as he remembered. "Well, those poor sods caught up with us and ya'll we're still out, so I had to do something. Hancock just seemed appropriate, given the situation. After that I dismantled their crawler and took their stuff. See? Situation solved."

"I don't suppose you can fix this "situation" then?"

"Ain't nowhere to go, Fury." he replied.

"Hmmph."

The sandstorm had done more than simply scour the land clean; it had carried the rig clear into the desert, planting them in parts unknown. Of Immortan Joe's army there was no sign, nothing but the scorching heat of the wastes, the blazing sun glaring down at them like the eye of an angry god furious and seething. Now that he thought of it...he rather took offense to that. As far as he knew, there was no god in this universe-naught but radiation and...and...

...nothing.

In a heartbeat he was brought back to the lifeless wastes of the Citadel -odd, that it should remind him of his days in Mass Effect- and the starving, hungry faces that'd peered up at him before he released the waters. It had been...chilling. Poor sods. Was the rest of the world like that? Would it still be like that once he'd had his fun and run? These people deserved someone better. Someone who cared. But that involved so much work...

 _'No. Don't think like that. Someone should do something...I should do something..._

Frowning at this thought, the blond bolted to his feet.

A hand waved sharply, summoning clouds to him.

Just like that, the skies darkened overhead.

The Wives, aware of the sudden shade, glanced skyward. Naruto clapped his hands, and thunder rolled, the once white nimbus becoming thick and angry and dark. Lightning crackled through the black, casting them in a stark, purple relief.

Splat poked his head out of the rig, marveling. "Marvelous."

Furiosa didn't think it was marvelous.

Not!

At!

All!

Startled, she could only stumble back as the blond began weaving his palms together. The oppressive heat suddenly seemed less so, as though the sun were naught but a distant memory behind the inky blackness of the clouds and all that they offered. An obscure chant reached her ears, broken only by the sound of stomping feet, a noise that seemed to come from both everywhere and nowhere all at once.

"What in the...?"

 _"Hush."_

He laid a hand on the arid plains, eyes flashing like twin suns. His bright blond hair flared, bleaching itself white as they looked. And as they did, shimmering waves of pulsating energy pulsed from that hand and into the ground. The life force of a god-a being of near infinite power-flooded the plains for miles in every direction, reaching deep into the soil, enriching it, healing it, repairing decades of damage in the blink of an eye. Once he had done thus he reached further still, essentially throttling nature and spinning it in reverse.

Then, he took hold of his arm, the very arm he'd planted upon the earth, and ripped it off.

Blood flew, soaking the soil, eagerly devoured.

Furiosa nearly vomited outright.

"...what are you doing?"

"Watch."

So she did; Furiosa watched him take that arm and bury it beneath the earth as though it were some sort of perverse seed. She stood there, dumbfounded, as another grew in its place like a weed. And then it began to change. Not the arm, but the earth itself, the arid plain upon which they stood. Because then...

...then came the rain.

So too, did the green.

 _Life._

* * *

 _Life._

Splat saw it bloom around him wildly, seemingly everywhere he looked-even beneath him-even! He had no idea what he was looking at but somehow, someway, the War Boy knew that it was right, and it was good. The God had sacrificed a piece of his flesh to restore the balance. The world. More and more of the green place grew as he looked on, the vibrancy of life stunning to behold. It took his breath away and held it captive but he didn't mind that, Splat didn't, because he couldn't breathe so well, anyway.

He felt like dancing.

So, dance he did.

Now, he was even more determined than ever to spread the word. All must know. All must hear...

...all hail the Demon God.

* * *

 _Life._

That was the first thing they saw.

Before their very eyes grass sprouted, the once arid soil turning to swampy ground, then mud. Followed by soil now, in a strange photosynthesis that seemed to do in seconds what might have taken centuries to reverse -if even such a thing could be done- life leeching back into the lifeless wastes as everyone looked on. Trees sprouted. Flowers grew rapidly, their thin, feeble stems somehow withstanding the pounding deluge, even as it threatened to uproot their very feet beneath them.

Clouds dispersed with a clap, leaving behind a muggy, humid forest, stretching out to the east as far as the eye could see. Another wave of those clawed hands seemed to push the sun itself back, taking blistering heat; and reducing it to merely a minor discomfort. When all was said and done everyone was soaking wet, gawping...

...all save one.

Naruto pushed a bead of sweat from his brow.

...aaaand, done. Phew! That shit always takes a lot out of me." Exhaling mightily, he took a moment to observe his handiwork. "That'll do, for now. I'll fix the rest, later-what?" He blinked at Furiosa's disbelieving visage. She looked as though she'd just seen a ghost, or worse, a piece of her past. "What's wrong? You're pale."

"How...?"

Naruto rubbed a this new, sleeveless arm, humming softly.

"God, remember? It's what I do-oof!"

 _"Naruto~!"_

Breath rushed out of him as _Angharad_ tackled him, flinging her arms around him in a fierce embrace. The suddenness of it startled even him, sending the newfound god staggering back a step. He whistled softly despite himself, holding her close.

"Not gonna like, you're totally hot, soaking wet right now-blech!"

He found himself blasted with a faceful of water from the rig's hose for his words, promptly.

"Your carriage awaits, m'lady. Erm," he hastily amended at Capable's arched brow, "Ladies. Totally meant to say that-oh boy."

The distant roar of an engine filled their ears.

Seemed his little spectacle hadn't gone unnoticed, after all.

"Go, go, go, go!"

A pair of nineteen-fifty-nine Cadillac coup Deville mounted atop one another, barreled towards him. He had just enough time to hear Immortan Joe's deep-throated laugh, just enough time to raise shove Angharad out of harms way-

"BOY!"

"You better not hit me with that fucking truck!"

They did, in fact, hit him with that truck.

For the second time that day, Naruto found himself flung into the dunes. The difference being that this time, he managed to brace himself in time. Blasted onto his back, the blond stood up, glowering. A hand darted to his belt, extracting a thin, metal cylinder. With a flick of his wrist, a blazing blue blade shimmered forth.

"SOMEBODY'S GONNA GET CUT!"

The buzz of a lightsaber filled the air...

...and much cutting followed.

 **A/N: WHAT A LOVELY DAY INDEED! Ah, sorry. Just couldn't help myself. What kind of hilarity can Naruto get up to here? Ohhhh, quite a bit. Don't believe me? BEHOLD THE PREVIEW. THAR BE ONE THIS TIME! AND WE WRAP THINGS UP NEXT CHAPTER!**

 _ **(Preview)**_

 _"Joe, Joe, Joe." Naruto sighed quietly, rubbing the man's amputated shoulder. "Would you like to play a game?"_

 _"You little shit! You think you can steal from me?! MY PROPERTY?! YOU-_

 _...aaaaaaaand back goes the gag," the blond hummed, thrusting the dirty, kerosene-soaked towel into the madman's throat. "See, that's the problem with tyrants like you, Joe." Pacing away, he reached into his bag of tricks and extricated a rather large briefcase. "They think they have a carte blanche to do whatever they please, to whomever they please, WHENEVER they please. They do not." Opening the case, he removed a rather meager looking needle and syringe, followed by a bucket of paint._

 _Looking on, Immortan Joe swallowed thickly as the horned god took that needle and plunged it into an amber vial._

 _Flicking the needle he straightened, satisfied with his work._

 _"Now, I'm sure you're wondering what I'm going to do with this. Fear Toxin and a few gallons of paint" he began, beaming. "And I'd tell ya, but it'd ruin the surprise. So hold still."_

 _"MMMMMPH!" he wailed! "MrhrmphgaGH!"_

 _The pale man thrashed wildly in his chair, eyes bulging as the deity's shadow covered him. Pearly white teeth gleamed in the dim lighting._

 _"Oh, no. I'm not gonna kill ya." he soothed. "I'm just gonna hurt ya..._

 _The masked tyrant could only squeal as the blond pushed the needle into his neck._

 _...really, REALLY bad."_

 **AND THE INSANITY CONTINUES! So, in the Immortal Words of Atlas, Review, Would You Kindly?**

 **R &R~! =D**


End file.
